


#help me

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Child Abuse, Cutting, Depression, Eating Disorders, Everyone Has Issues, F/F, F/M, Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Scars, Social Media, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Team as Family, Tumblr, and that's okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 21:44:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2483504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s … it’s when you point a gun at your head, because you’re so damn tired. You’re so damn tired, and you just want to sleep. Because when you sleep, you don’t feel. And fuck, I … I don’t want to feel for a while. For a really, really long while. I just want to sleep.”</p><p>A series of unrelated (unless otherwise stated) drabbles on the theme of depression, each chapter with its own summary and pairing listing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gen; Team

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern Setting/No Powers: On tumblr, Bruce posts his feelings, his thoughts, his slide downward.

 

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

Why do I even bother?

_#personal   #No You Cant Answer This   #Rhetorical_

**ragingontheinside**

They tell you not to care about what people say about you.

They = the people saying the things that make you feel lower than Hell.

_#personal #life_

                **heartlessiron** likes this

 **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

I hate not being good enough.

_#personal_

**musicaltaser** likes this

                **deafhawks** likes this

                **thunderingz** likes this

                **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

All I do is fuck things up. No one can have what they want as long as I’m around.

_#personal   #fml_

                **sk3tchbook** reblogged this from **believemedead** and added:

                                     | _..._

                **believemedead** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                     | _Story of my life._

                **believemedead** likes this

                **loveis4children** likes this

                **deafhawks** likes this

                **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

 

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

I mean, it says something about a person when their father hates them and tells them they’re worthless, and their girlfriend’s dad hates them and tells them they’re worthless, and that same girlfriend breaks up with you and tells you it’s for the best, right?

For the best because you’re _fucking fucking fucking fucking worthless_

_#personal_

                **heartlessiron** likes this

                **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

Dear Anonymous – The words of encouragement you stole off of memes and inspirational posts on Facebook are not helping. You don’t even know who I am, let alone if I’m beautiful. Please stop spamming my ask box. I’m going to turn it off.

_#personal   #wtf   #those aren’t even questions   #really?_

                **heartlessiron** likes this

                **musicaltaser** likes this

                **believemedead** likes this

 **loveis4children** likes this

                **deafhawks** likes this

 **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

 

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

I haven’t slept in two days.

I can’t sleep. My brain won’t shut up. What am I doing wrong?

_#personal   #fml_

                **heartlessiron** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                   | _Me, all day every day. Have you tried sleeping pills? I love sleeping pills._

                **heartlessiron** likes this

                **sk3tchbook** likes this

 **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

               

 

               

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

What if your purpose in life is just to die? Do you wait for it, then, or do you just do it whenever? How do you know?

_#please   #insomnia   #fml_

                **musicaltaser** likes this

                **believemedead** likes this

                **deafhawks** likes this

                **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

 

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

I don’t matter. I serve no point to anyone in this life. Nothing I do makes a difference. And it hurts. Walking around, breathing, not letting anyone know _how damn tired I am._

I look in the mirror and all I see is a monster. Disgusting, terrible. **Nothing.**

_#personal   #life   #tired_

                **musicaltaser** likes this

                **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

 

**ragingontheinside**

I’m going to kill myself tonight. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry.

_#personal   #help me   #please   #pills  #waiting for him to go to bed   #fuck this   #sorry_

**heartlessiron** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                | _Creeper alert, I've tracked your house - I'll be there in 10 minutes. If you're dead, I'll kill you._

                **sk3tchbook** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                | **_Call me!_** _My number is (713) 555-4329. Just. Just please call me. I won't stop you. Just ... please._

                **believemedead** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                | _I feel you, Rage, I do._

 **loveis4children** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                | _It will be an ... unpleasant way to die. Perhaps we should discuss alternative methods._

 **musicaltaser** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                | _Dude, no! Who's going to post and reblog music shit with me?! Please don't!_

                **thunderingz** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                                | _My friend, please reconsider your choice. It would grieve me greatly to lose your existence._

                **deafhawks** reblogged this from **ragingontheinside** and added:

                       | _Not a good idea, buddy._

 **ragingontheinside** posted this

 

 

 

 


	2. Bucky/Darcy/Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Canon/Canon Divergence - Darcy's struggles with eating are painful for them to watch. But they do, because the alternative is not being with her, and that's not going to happen.

 

 

James watches the way her hand shakes as she lifts the spoon to her mouth.

It’s only a bite of yogurt, vibrant and pink against the gleam of the silverware – strawberry, her favorite flavor.

The expression on her face is twisted between fear and disgust at the sight of it.

He flicks a glance to Steve, seated quietly at the other side of the table – he’s watching Darcy like a hawk, cataloguing every movement and twitch like the soldier he is, filing away each tick to drag forward and identify later. His large, flawless hands are wrapped around the edge of the table, and it’s not his imagination that the wood is trembling under the focused, stressed pressure.

James’ eyes go back to Darcy.

She’s beginning to shiver – full body tremors that look less painful than he knows they are. She’s been so cold recently, unable to keep warm unless wrapped between the both of them, despite the layers of clothing she wears; shivering is a constant condition for her. The spoon still hovers centimeters from her lips, unmoving.

The sleeve of her sweatshirt slips just barely, revealing the smallest inch of wrist to their eyes – thin, fragile.

“Please, Darcy,” he hears Steve whisper, low and breathy like a prayer he hadn’t meant to say. James watches her flinch at the plea, her obvious jawline jutting out as she darts the yogurt into her mouth, swallowing forcefully with such speed that he knows she hadn’t tasted it.

“Good girl, doll,” he finds himself saying, winces himself because they’re not supposed to _say_ anything. Be here for her, but be silent, let her know that she can do it herself. But there are tears building up in her eyes, tears of guilt as the yogurt slithers down to her starving stomach, and James will be damned if he lets her suffer alone while he’s sitting there. “That’s good.”

“No more,” she chokes out.

One bite isn’t enough – will _never_ be enough, never again. _He wants to shove the entire cup down her throat, make her eat and eat until she’s healthy again._

“Later,” Steve compromises above his thoughts, leaning over the table to grab her hand. James quickly does the same to the other – they’re as frozen as ever, thin and easily ensconced in their broad fingers.

She doesn’t answer.


End file.
